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Post by Mommydoos on Oct 5, 2022 12:43:06 GMT 1
Really liked it Pal.....fanciful, but in an amusing way! Well done  |
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Post by Mommydoos on Oct 5, 2022 12:45:15 GMT 1
'Lemmy put the handle into the hole on the left. The clockmakers had made life easy for him as. They had put the word 'Time' over the hole. He turned the handle. It moved a lot easier than he had expected. He wound until he could wind any more. Then he did the same to the other hole The makers had put the word 'Chime' over that one. Again it was not as hard as Lemmy had feared.' Couple of punctuation etc. but am sure you've picked those up  |
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Post by Palustris on Oct 5, 2022 12:51:38 GMT 1
Think I have picked up most of the errors, but always seem to be more when it is set out in book form.
Another story my be a while coming.
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Post by peonymad on Oct 5, 2022 13:44:46 GMT 1
Thank you Pal, a lovely bit of story telling.
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Post by Butternut on Oct 5, 2022 16:09:46 GMT 1
It was brilliant, very creative Pal.
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Post by Palustris on Oct 13, 2022 20:32:01 GMT 1
Need an idea. Want to add some more, so I want something which will block their path and necessitate Lemmy and the Cuckoo using another way of travelling. I know what that is going to be, but need a reason for them to use it. I had thought of an icy river, The streaming cold, but don't really like it.
Some sort of chasm? But off hand I cannot think of anything.
Ta.
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Post by Mommydoos on Oct 13, 2022 20:45:27 GMT 1
I think it was perfick as it was!🙂
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Post by Miss Piggin on Oct 13, 2022 22:47:55 GMT 1
A chasm of ignorance, a gaping chasm, crack of doom, crack of dawn?
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Post by Palustris on Oct 14, 2022 9:28:25 GMT 1
It does need to be something which does not exist, but sound as if it ought to,ie like the Train of thought.
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Post by peonymad on Oct 14, 2022 13:27:12 GMT 1
I think Tolkien did a Crack of Doom, how about swapping words round? As in something like the bliss of ignorance rather than ignorance is bliss.
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Post by Palustris on Oct 14, 2022 15:22:04 GMT 1
I had thought of 'line of fire' but with the situation in Ukraine it seems a bit off.
River of tears? But who would be crying it and why?
May have to ditch this idea. Thanks anyway.
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Post by Butternut on Oct 14, 2022 15:52:20 GMT 1
Molehill Mountain (the one you shouldn't make) could have appeared in their path.
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Post by Palustris on Oct 14, 2022 17:31:48 GMT 1
Now that might work. As long as they are low molehills as the Shoehorn is the highest part of Cloud Cuckoo land.
Thanks. I will give that a write up and see how it works.
Moo chews grassy arse.
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Post by Nooj on Oct 15, 2022 15:24:05 GMT 1
Brilliant Butternut!
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Post by Palustris on Oct 16, 2022 15:52:34 GMT 1
Written and posted. Lot of errors, but have changed them in the original so no need to point them out.  Did try to get some sort of Squash mention in there for Butternut, but brain is not functioning at the moment. |
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Post by Palustris on Oct 31, 2022 13:35:30 GMT 1
Now I need some aphorisms about time. Got Pro.etc is the thief of time and Time flies when you are having fun and It was the best of times it was the worst of times, but could do with some more short and pithy ones.
Save your breath I have found half a dozen useful ones. Sorry.
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Post by Palustris on Nov 1, 2022 17:04:10 GMT 1
Added another chapter.
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Post by Palustris on Nov 2, 2022 13:38:32 GMT 1
This is a good example of how my stories develop. Now I just need to add something about the Walk of Shame or finding a Web of Lies perhaps.
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Post by Butternut on Nov 2, 2022 14:43:03 GMT 1
That will be a walk in the park for you Pal  |
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Post by Mommydoos on Nov 2, 2022 14:49:10 GMT 1
Just wondering how this will fit in, as I really liked the first ending  xxx |
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Post by Palustris on Nov 2, 2022 14:52:33 GMT 1
The passage of time chapter fits in between the chapter called Nearly at the Clock and the original last chapter.
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Post by Mommydoos on Nov 2, 2022 15:05:59 GMT 1
Thank you Pal...as I said, I thought the original ending was perfect....like coming out of a dream xxxx |
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Post by Palustris on Nov 2, 2022 16:23:29 GMT 1
There is also the extra mile that they could go. Or even a trip down memory lane.
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Post by Miss Piggin on Nov 2, 2022 23:52:58 GMT 1
There is also the extra mile that they could go. Or even a trip down memory lane. Would that be as the crow flies? |
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Post by Palustris on Nov 3, 2022 12:42:33 GMT 1
All flying is banned. The Cuckoo is scared of heights.
I think the story is long enough now so I will probably just edit it rather than add more.
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Post by Miss Piggin on Nov 3, 2022 13:10:33 GMT 1
I think your story was great fun. Very clever and witty. I enjoyed it.
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Post by Palustris on Nov 5, 2022 13:51:03 GMT 1
Managed to add some more bits. Walk of shame is in there as is upsetting the apple cart and bull in a china shop.
Would have to post the whole thing again to let you read those bits. If you want it I can do a PDF which has it all in with the pictures. That can be downloaded to a Kindle or Fire thing.
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Post by peonymad on Nov 5, 2022 18:04:32 GMT 1
That would be lovely Pal. Thanks for the offer.
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Post by Palustris on Nov 5, 2022 18:37:31 GMT 1
That would be lovely Pal. Thanks for the offer. PM me where to send it then. |
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Post by Palustris on Nov 14, 2022 12:03:49 GMT 1
Some typos found as well as the ones pointed out by Peony. Very grateful for the proof reading. Makes my life a bit easier. I tend to read what ought to be there rather than what is actually there.
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xxx